Has the communication vanished in the relationship? Where has the trust gone? Is someone in your relationship having an affair? Relationship counselling can help to work through both small and major issues. Speak to a relationship counsellor.
Phone 0416 157751 for relationship counsellor bookings and purchase a relationship counselling session.
The top seven ways to beat stress
Life can be full of stress.
- The boss asks you to see him in his office first thing Monday morning
- Your partner tells you that the love has gone out of the relationship and thinks that a trial separation is needed
- You move house, the mother-in-law moves in, you visit relatives for Christmas…
The reasons for stress can be endless. If stress builds up over time it can grow into a generalised feeling of anxiousness. You know when you feel anxious because it is that constant feeling of butterflies in the stomach or it can also be waves of constant dread that wash over you when you start thinking of that thing that you have been avoiding.
When you start to feel stress your body’s defences kick in. Your body makes and pumps out all these chemicals that are designed to help with short-term stress. This helps you cope in situations of emergency but if the stress keeps on going day after day the body’s chemical response starts to cause more problems than it fixes. So let’s look at the top seven ways to remove stress.
Eat right, sleep well and keep fit
I’d like to think that we all treat our bodies as temples but there are few temples that would permit alcohol and chocolate ice cream to be consumed in them. It is really a no brainer that to have your body in great condition does help protect against stress. In fact you can start getting some of the bodies stress chemicals in balance simply by regular and appropriate exercise. Fresh and non-processed foods are the key.
Order and simplicity
It is easy to get stressed when you have a million things to do and urgent deadlines. A little planning and creating order helps bring back that sense of calm. Creating order can be an enjoyable experience and throwing out the old can make space for the new. The degree of order needs to be kept at a manageable level. So when you start to get anxious about keeping order then you have overshot the mark. The last thing you want to do is to feel compelled to keep things in order and spotlessly clean.
Keep clear of other people’s problems
People stray into other problems all the time. When you are feeling stressed it is best to hunker down and focus on managing your own emotions and problems before you stray into managing others. So stop taking on other peoples problems at work and at home. Instead of trying to solve other people’s problems just assist them in finding the solution themselves. The moment you start suggesting possible ways to fix things then you have crossed the boundary.
Create personal space and time
When you have a full time job, perhaps studying or are parenting children there is often little time left to yourself. If you find yourself lost in a series of endless tasks serving others then step back and create some of your own personal space and time. Your space can be found in rediscovered in a room of your house, in the garage, yoga class or in the garden. Just as you would prioritise time for tasks for others you will need to be conscious about allocating a manageable slice of personal time into your day or week.
Positive thinking
Dr Martin Seligman is psychologist who is evangelical about thinking positive. When the mind can identify positive thoughts and reinterpret external events in a positive light then the brain is working in ways to ward off depression and anxiety. Try experimenting with positive affirmations – statements about who you are and would like to be. Examples include “I choose healthy relationships”. When practicing to think positively it is important to work on reducing what is for many the lifetime habit of negative self talk. An example of negative self talk is “I always date partners who cheat on me”.
Do stuff you like doing
We all do stuff we don’t like. Perhaps it is doing assignments or driving the kids to and from soccer practice. We do it because it has a pay off at some point and that pay off is going to be worth all that hard work. Eventually though all that unpleasant stuff builds up and there is not enough fun stuff to balance it out.
Many people take on tasks to help others but this may over time become exhausting and unpleasurable. Learning to say “No” to tasks you really won’t enjoy doing is an important skill to acquire. The solution is very simple. Minimise doing the stuff you hate and do more of the stuff you like doing.
Be with people who support you
People who don’t put you down and are respectful are ‘safe’ people to be with. With these people you can safely discuss personal issues and emotionally engage with them. There are other people who have personal agendas that lead you feeling belittled or undermined. These kind of toxic relationships occur frequently in the workplace and in disintegrating relationships. Minimise interaction with these people and do not use them as an indicator of self worth.
These seven tips on how to fix stress are a start to building a happier life. If stress becomes unmanageable then seek the advice of your doctor, counsellor or psychologist (disclaimer)
